Life Goes On
by foreverSamcedesLove
Summary: After being in the same car accident, both Sam and Mercedes are trying to deal with what happened as best as they can. AU Samcedes, rated M for later chapters.
1. Moving Forward

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN GLEE.**

**A/N: Hey guys, so this is my first fan fic ever. This idea has been on my mind for a while now and I really hope you guys like it! Please review and let me know what you think.**

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**Chapter 1 - Moving Forward**

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Three months. That's how long it has been since Mercedes lost her mother.

"I miss you, mom. So much," Mercedes said with tears in her eyes before she kissed the picture of her mother and put it back on her nightstand.

That's what she's been doing every night since she came home from the hospital. She would take that picture and talk to her mom like she was still there with her. It was also the only time of the day she allowed herself to break down, to cry over losing the most important person in the world to her. Mercedes was the oldest child in the house with her sixteen years and she had to take care of her sisters while her dad was working so she felt like she had to be strong for them during the day.

Mercedes was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear the knock on her bedroom door and she only noticed her little sister as she heard her talking.

"Mercy…I-I can't sleep," came Amaya's soft voice from the door.

Mercedes sat up a little and opened her arms, motioning for her little sister to come over to her bed. "Come here, Maya. You want to sleep with me tonight?" she asked her softly.

Amaya walked over to Mercedes and climbed on Mercedes' bed and cuddled up to her sister. "I miss mommy," she said sadly.

"I know, baby. I miss her too," she whispered, snuggling the little girl closer to her. Mercedes' heart broke for her little sister. She was only five and didn't understand why her mommy wasn't there anymore. Jamila, their 9-year old sister at least understood what had happened to their mom but Amaya was just too little to really understand.

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Mercedes could feel his eyes on her. This was the only class she and Sam Evans had together and he was sitting in the seat behind her and he would always stare at her. She never looked at him when she came into the classroom. Looking at him just hurt too much and Mercedes still blamed Sam for the accident. She knew she was wrong for doing so because he had no chance to control his car because of the freezing rain that day but she needed someone to blame for losing her mother. Her father told her that she had to forgive Sam to be able to move on but she didn't want to move on because that would mean she had accepted that her mom was gone but she wasn't ready for that.

Sam tried to apologize many times after the accident but she always ignored him. He and his family even came to visit her at the hospital after the accident but she didn't want to see him.

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_"__Mercy…Sam Evans and his family are here. He asked if he could come in and talk to you?" her father told her._

_Mercedes shook her head. "No, dad, don't let them in. I can't look at him," she whispered._

_Michael, Mercedes father looked at his oldest daughter with sad eyes. He knew how hard this was for her. "Mercedes, he-" was all he could get out before he was interrupted._

_"__No!" she shouted before she added in a softer voice. "Please, dad…I just can't. It's his fault that mom is gone and that I'm lying here in this hospital bed."_

_"__I know this is hard for you, baby girl, but you know that's not true. The weather wasn't his fault," he told her sadly. He hated to see his baby like this._

_Mercedes didn't want to hear this and looked away from her dad as tears streamed down her cheeks. "I want to be alone…," she told her father in a whisper._

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Mercedes ignored Sam's staring and tried to listen to what her teacher was saying about the presentation they had to do for this class.

"Every one of you will get a sheet of paper with a topic and some info about it. This is a partner assignment so you'll do it with the person that got the same topic as you did. As soon as everyone has their topic I will read them to you and the two students that have the topic just lift their hands so that I can write down your name," Mr. Miller told his students as he handed the topics out before he sat back down on his desk in the front.

"Drug Abuse," Mercedes murmured to herself as she read the topic she got.

As Mr. Miller asked who got this topic she lifted her right arm so that he could write her name down. Suddenly she could heard loud whispering around her and felt everyone's eyes on her. As she turned around to see who else got the topic, her eyes landed on the hand in the air before she looked down in its owner's eyes.

Sam Evans.

"Mr. Miller, is there any way I can change topics with someone?" Mercedes asked her teacher.

Mr. Miller looked up from his desk and shook his head. "I'm sorry Mercedes, but no. If I let you change it then I'd have to allow it everyone who wants to change theirs," he explained.

Mercedes let out a sigh at his answer. She couldn't believe that she had to do this together with Sam. Mercedes couldn't even look at him, how was she supposed to spend time with him to work on their presentation?

At the end of the class Mercedes put her things into her backpack and stood up. As she felt a hand on her shoulder she turned around to see that it was Sam.

"I'm sorry, Mercedes… I can talk to Mr. Miller again and explain why you don't want to do it with me. I'm sure he'll let you change topics with someone else," Sam told her softly. Their teacher was new so he didn't know about their connection.

"It's fine. We can do it over email," she told him and walked away.

Sam sighed as she walked away. He took his backpack and run after her. "Over email?" he asked Mercedes confused. "Don't you think it's better if we do it together after school?"

"Well I don't really have time after school. I have to take care of my little sister as you know…," Mercedes answered his question.

"I could come over to your house and we can work on our presentation and watch the girls at the same time," Sam told her before he could stop himself.

"No! We can do it over email," Mercedes said before she walked away from him again.

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Mercedes sat on the couch and smiled at her father as he came through the door. "Hey dad."

"Hello Mercedes," Michael greeted his daughter with a smile. "How was school today?" he asked as he put his stuff down besides the door.

"It was fine," she told her father, not sure if she should tell him about Sam. "I…I have to do a presentation…together with Sam Evans…," Mercedes said.

Her father slowly walked over to the couch and sat beside her. "Are you okay with this?" he asked her softly.

"Well I have to, right?" she replied with a sigh. "I told him that we can do it over email. There is no reason for us to be in the same room."

"Mercedes, you can't do a presentation over email. You two have to work on it together," Michael told her with raised eyebrows. "What did he say to your suggestion?"

Mercedes shrugged at her father's words. "Well I have to take care of the girls so I can't get together with him for this. Doing it over email will be just fine," Mercedes told her father. "He said he could come over here and we can work on it while we watch the girls but I told him no."

"Why? I think that's a good idea," Michael told his daughter. He sighed as he looked at Mercedes. "I know you still blame him for what happened but you're a smart girl and I know that you know that it wasn't really his fault."

"I don't want to talk about it, dad," she said as she stood up. "The girls are playing in Amaya's room, can you get them ready for bed? I have a lot of homework to do…," she asked as she walked over to the stairs to get to her room.

"Yeah, sure," Michael said as he watched Mercedes walk up the stairs. He knew she was still hurting and wished he could help her but he knew that she had to do it on her own.

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Mercedes went to her room and locked the door before she leaned against it. She could already feel the tears in her eyes as she walked up to her room and now she was full on crying.

She knew her father was right and if she was being honest with herself, she didn't blame Sam anymore. Mercedes realized that as she talked to him earlier that day. But even with that realization she wasn't sure if she could handle spending time with him because he still reminded her off what happened.

Mercedes walked over to her bed and took the picture of her mother from her nightstand before she laid down on her bed.

"I don't know what to do, mom," she whispered softly.

"Today was the first time that I talked to him since the accident. I…I realized that I don't blame him anymore. We have to work on a presentation together for school but I don't think I can handle spending time with him, mom. Every time I look at him I see you lying there, not moving…"Mercedes cried.

"Dad said I have to move on but I don't know how to move on from this. I can't live without you, momma. There is still so much that I have to learn about life and you were supposed to be here for that," Mercedes said angrily.

"Why did you leave me?" she asked the picture of her mother crying before she turned over and cried herself to sleep, like she did almost every night.

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**A/N: So should I continue with this story?**


	2. Hope

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN GLEE.**

**A/N: Hey guys! Thanks so much for the reviews, I really appreciate all of them!**

**One reviewer mentioned that Sam and Mercedes wouldn't be in the same class if something like this happened and I know in reality they wouldn't but I kind of needed them to be in the same class for my story. It just makes it easier for me to find ways to have them spend time together and get to know each other better. **

**I hope you guys like this chapter, it will tell you more about Sam and how he deals with the accident. Please review and let me know what you think. **

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**Chapter 2 - Hope**

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_~The next day~_

Mercedes woke up with her mother's picture lying next to her. She took the picture and looked at it for a few minutes before she got up and went to her bathroom to take a shower and get ready for school. After she was done in the bathroom she went down to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for her sisters and herself but was surprised that her father was standing there and was already doing that.

"Morning, dad. Why are you still here? Shouldn't you be in the office by now?" Mercedes questioned her father with a raised brow. Since her mom was gone, all he did was working and normally he would be gone before she got up.

"Good morning, baby girl," he greeted his oldest daughter smiling and kissed her on the cheek softly before he answered her question. "I took the day off. I have a few things to take care of before your grandma comes today."

Mercedes looked at her father confused. "Grandma comes to visit?"

"Yes, I talked to her last night after you went upstairs," he nodded. "Yesterday you mentioned that you couldn't meet Sam after school because you had to take care of your sisters, and although I know that is not the only reason for you not to meet with him, I realized that you have too much responsibility for a sixteen year old girl. That's why your grandma and I decided that it would be for the best if she would move in with us for a while," Michael explained as he finished cooking breakfast for his family.

Mercedes shook her head. "Dad, no, I don't mind taking care of Jamila and Amaya. I mean I'm happy to see grandma again but I don't want her to give up her life in Florida because of us," she said.

"Mercedes, you are sixteen years old and should be able to enjoy your life like every other teenage girl in your age does," her father told her softly.

"Well I'm not like every other teenage girl, dad…and there's nothing to enjoy for me…," Mercedes sighed as she took four plates out of the cupboard and set them on the table.

Michael looked at her sadly and walked over to his daughter. "Mercy…I know how you feel because there are days where I feel the exact same way, but then I look at you and your sisters and I realize that life is still worth living for. I miss your mom so much but she was all about enjoying life and I know she would want us to do just that," he said softly, taking her in his arms to give her a hug.

Mercedes could feel her eyes watering as she put her arms around her father to hug him back. She couldn't speak so she just nodded at his words. She knew her mother would want them to at least try to be happy.

"I'm so sorry that you have to go through this," he murmured against her hair, wishing he could take the pain away as he saw tears rolling down her face.

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Mercedes watched Sam talking to his girlfriend at his locker as she thought about earlier this morning. After her talk with her dad she decided that she would at least try to move on. That also included Sam. She didn't blame him anymore but that didn't mean that she forgave him for what happened. She knew it would take time for her to be ready for that but she was willing to try. As she came out of her thoughts she took a deep breath and walked towards Sam.

"Can we talk?" Mercedes asked Sam as she approached him.

Sam looked at Mercedes, a little surprised that she wanted to talk to him. "Yeah, sure," he said before he told his girlfriend to wait for him.

He and Mercedes walked a few steps away and when she didn't say anything he decided to start. "Um, is this about our presentation for Mr. Miller's class? I could explain our situation to him if it makes you too uncomfortable to work on this with me…," he told her softly.

"I already told you yesterday that it was fine," she said a little annoyed.

"Okay," he answered. Sam bit his lip and waited for her to explain what this was about.

"I thought about it and I guess you were right, we should work on it after school…together I mean…not over email…," she trailed off, not looking at Sam.

Sam nodded at Mercedes. "Okay, great. So do you want me to come over to your house? I mean because you said you had to watch your sisters after school…," he added quickly.

"No, we can meet in the library. My grandma is coming today and will stay with us for a while," she said, not knowing why she even told him about her grandma. "What day do you want to meet up?" Mercedes asked.

"Alright, we can meet in the library," he agreed. Sam was actually relieved that she wanted to meet there instead of her house. If he was being honest he would be a little uncomfortable at her house. "I can't do Tuesdays because I have to go to ther-...um, I have an appointment every Tuesday but other than that I'm free," he answered, hoping she didn't catch his slip up. Sam didn't want anyone beside his family to know that he was seeing a therapist.

For a moment Mercedes wondered if he was about to say _therapy_. She never thought that someone like Sam would go to a therapist. "That's fine. We can start working on our presentation tomorrow if you want to?" she asked.

"Okay," he agreed with a slight smile.

"Well okay then. I have to go now… See you tomorrow at the library," Mercedes told him before she walked away.

Sam watched her walk away and was glad that today was Tuesday because he really needed to talk with someone about having to work with Mercedes. He was still lost in his thoughts and didn't notice his girlfriend coming over to him.

"So what did Big Crying Baby want?" Lucy asked, annoyed that Sam had talked to Mercedes.

"Don't call her that!" he said angrily as he walked away. He hated when she and her friends called Mercedes that. They gave her that nickname when Mercedes broke down in school after she heard Lucy and her friends making fun of her situation.

Lucy rolled her eyes at Sam and ran after him. "She's a loser, baby. You shouldn't even be seen talking to her."

"I told you that I have to work with her on a presentation for Mr. Miller's class…" Sam told her, turning around to look at his girlfriend.

"Let her do the work…I can think of a lot more fun ways you can spend your time, baby…," she trailed off as she got closer to his face and started kissing down his jaw.

Sam pushed her away from him and just walked away, leaving a confused and pissed off Lucy behind. He didn't even know why he was still dating her. Before the accident, all he wanted was to be popular and dating the head cheerleader made him just that but now he didn't care about that anymore. There were more important things in life and being popular wasn't one of them.

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Sam sat in front of Dr. Lewis, his therapist, and looked around her office. There were so many things on his mind at the moment and he didn't know where to start.

"I started driving again…," Sam told his therapist.

"You did?" Dr. Lewis asked surprised. Just last week Sam said he wasn't ready to drive again. "How did it feel?" she asked him.

Sam took a moment to answer. "Yes, I did," he nodded. "I was scared…still am…but it felt good," Sam confessed. "But I only use the car to get to school and back," he said.

"That's a very good start, Sam." she said with a small smile. "What made you change your mind? Last week you told me that you weren't ready to drive?" she asked him curiously.

"I don't know. I was sitting at home and thought about it and just felt that I was ready…," he shrugged.

Dr. Lewis nodded at Sam before she asked, "Were you alone or did someone drive with you?"

"Alone. I made myself a few rules for driving. I only drive when I'm alone in the car and I don't drive at night or when it's raining," Sam told his therapist.

"That is good. Do what makes you comfortable. It's important that you take the time you need," Dr. Lewis said as she wrote something down on her notepad.

Sam didn't want to talk about driving anymore so he changed the subject and decided to tell Dr. Lewis about Mercedes.

"Mercedes talked to me yesterday and today," Sam said. "We have to do a presentation for one of our classes together…," he added quickly.

"Mercedes Jones?" his therapist asked surprised. "What did you two talk about?"

Sam nodded. "Yes, her. We only talked about school. Well about how and when we would work on it. We'll meet tomorrow in the library after school," he told her with a small smile.

"How do you feel about that?" she asked Sam.

He thought about his answer for a minute. "I don't know. I tried talking to her for weeks after the accident happened but she would only ignore me and now we have to do this presentation together so I guess she only talks to me because she has to," he answered. "I hoped that if she would talk to me one day it would be about what happened…that I could finally apologize to her…," he added.

"Didn't you already apologize to her? Would it make you feel better if she would finally accept your apology?" Dr. Lewis questioned Sam.

"No, I apologized to her father and he accepted it but Mercedes always ignored me when I tried. And no, if she finally accepted my apology it wouldn't make me feel better about what happened. There is nothing that can make this any easier for me. I accepted that it was an accident and that there was nothing I could have done to prevent it. That is why I wasn't charged but I still feel responsible for what happened and that will stay with me for the rest of my life. I mean a husband lost his wife and three girls lost their mother because of me. How can anything make me feel better about that?" he asked her with tears in his eyes.

Dr. Lewis listened to Sam and nodded understandingly. She wrote a few things on her notepad before she continued her therapy session with Sam.

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**A/N: I felt this was a good point to end this chapter and I didn't want it to get too long. And yup…Sam has a girlfriend but she won't be around for long, I promise!**


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